She Nailed It . . .

One of the little things that always makes my day is when some clever person has the exact perfect way of putting things.  Something that sums up what I’d been trying to say, in fewer and better words.

The She in the title of this post is someone I don’t know very well yet, but get along with well enough to be beyond the small talk phase.  The other day, she referred to herself as being “a nympho with standards”.  Why didn’t I think of that?  I didn’t, but I am absolutely stealing it for future use.  There it is, in just three words.

When dudes are sitting around bemoaning the fact that they’re not getting laid, someone will eventually mention that it’s SO hard for guys, and SO easy for girls, since supposedly anyone with more than one X chromosome can just stroll into a bar or whatever and just pick someone up.  (I’m going to put aside the fact that that’s not even true to start with, since  that would be another post altogether.  Trust me, it’s not actually true.  For the sake of this post we’re going to assume the lady in question is attractive enough by local standards that she could in fact pick up someone fairly easily.)

Let’s keep it hypothetical for now and say this reasonably good-looking female is in the mood for some sex.  Being unattached and open-minded, she’s going to go find a guy to hook up with for the evening.  Easy enough so far.  Now there’s the first level of standards to deal with – appearance.  Some guys understand that this works both ways; they have a certain “type” or a set of grooming/presentation standards that need to be met before they will consider hooking up with someone, so they know that the someone in question will also have purely physical expectations.  Some guys don’t get this at all.  Again, this would warrant an entire discussion of how gender is handled in this culture, but for now I’m just going to point it out and move on.

Once our hypothetical lady has found someone who seems physically interesting, she might strike up a conversation.  This is the point where plenty of hot guys become . . . less hot.  There is no nice way to put this at all:  stupid people are boring in bed.  Also, this is the point where regardless of intelligence, the red flags for “dangerously unbalanced” and “misogynist ass” will sometimes show up.

Now the third thing, I’m not sure even falls under the “standards” category, but it’s been enough of an issue with HL that it’s a Thing To Be Wary Of.  It’s less obvious than the first two hurdles, but can be more problematic.  This hypothetical is about fun, NSA sexy times.  The lady in question will have made this clear.  It is a one-night stand.  If the guy agrees to this, and then calls/texts/e-mails over and OVER after the deed is done, with no prompting or encouragement, it is just plain obnoxious.  If both parties want to revisit the fun sexytimes, great!  If one party is obviously ignoring the other, that means it really was just one night and it’s time to move on.  Again, culture may be partly at fault here, since dudes are constantly getting the message that women “play games” and it’s up to them to pursue us and not accept a “no”.  This is bullshit.  There are plenty of games I like, but none of them involve pretending to be uninterested when I actually am.  When I say no, that is the only thing it ever means.

Those are the standards, and they do make it difficult for someone like me, who just wants a good dirty time with no trouble or nasty surprises.  Next post, I will go ahead and get in a good rant about Why I Will Not Compromise The Standards, Though I Be Constantly Horny.


One Response to “She Nailed It . . .”

  1. you nailed it

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