Three Laws, part I

I haven’t had a scan to confirm this, but I’m pretty sure that the part of my brain containing all my nerdiness is right next to the part that houses my sexuality.  Since I’m not the only one who appears to be wired up this way, I suggest someone out there apply for a grant – more research is needed.

My Three Laws came together after I noticed I have a habit of, any time someone is behaving in a way that clashes with my ideas of sexuality – not in a “that’s not my kink” way but in a “that is WRONG” way – a voice in my head was saying “He/she doesn’t know the Law Of Cunt*!”  Random phrase at first, but by now I’ve figured out that there are three laws that are Very Important and should be listed.

Why three?  Same reason Asimov only needed three.  A lot of ground can be covered in three laws, and a smaller number makes them easy to remember.  If I were just talking about myself I could come up with long lists of important information, but I feel secure enough in my ideas to think these basic instructions would be massively useful to everyone.  They’re written from my own point of view, since I played around with different ways of phrasing them and feel best about first-person.  But as I said, this isn’t just an instruction manual for me.  In a better world, it would apply as common sense.

First Law Of Cunt:  It is mine.
Basic anatomy should makes this apparent, since it is after all part of my body.  But one of the things that I hate about our culture is that it teaches girls from a young age not to have physical autonomy.  It is depressingly common for guys to assume that if I’ve slept with them once I’m never going to say no to a second time.  Or if we’ve flirted/made out/discussed possibly having sex in the future I cannot say no.  Or if they know I had sex with person X or just that I am “promiscuous” (code for “likes sex”) I will NEVER say no to them, person Y.  I can and do, since this laws means that no one is ever automatically granted access to me.

Another depressingly common assumption is that during the time someone else is allowed access that means they can do whatever the hell they want.  This is a good way to show me that you are someone I never want to have anything to do with again.  If you care about me and are respectful of the Law, you will find out if particular things are okay.  If they’re not, you will not argue or get pouty since those reactions show me that you don’t understand my basic right to ownership of my own body.  No one else is allowed to make me feel obligated to let them do anything I’m not okay with.  If you pull out any guilt tactics or other such underhandedness you don’t know the Law.

A few people know me well enough to point out a huge contradiction here.  Those people also know me well enough to see why it’s not a contradiction at all.  Every now and then, if I have found the right person, I will end up saying just the opposite.  I will be worked up to a fever pitch and then get even more lustful and excited as I say,I am yours, use me, take possession of me and make my cunt belong to you. (I may be less coherent at these times.  I actually don’t have a handy quote in mind since last time I said anything like that I wasn’t thinking a bit about writing it down later.)  And let me tell you, however I phrase it, I mean every word of it.  When that is coming out of my mouth, I do feel that I am letting go of myself and offering my love every part of me to claim.  The few people who get to see me like this see it for a very specific reason, though: They know the Law.  I can only get to the point where I feel like I want to offer myself that completely if I feel secure in knowing that the person I’m offering myself to will absolutely be able to handle me in the way I want, and not hurt me.  I have to know that they respect me enough that if I ever did say No they would not question my judgement or try to push me, but hear it and listen.  Once I feel that safe, I personally do enjoy giving up my control for a time and telling someone they own me entirely.  It is amazingly rare that I can get into that frame of mind, and I can only do it if I am sure the person I’m turning control over to understands that I can take it back whenever I choose.

This also applies to serious Slaves, and women in 24/7 D/s relationships.  I want to bring them up, since my understanding of healthy vs. unhealthy approaches to that kink is another contradiction-that-isn’t.  This is where I can only be an outside observer, since even if my one relationship of the sort hadn’t gone so badly it still wouldn’t be for me.  But women who do want that?  Same thing applies.  From what I’ve seen or read about actual healthy relationships, they give up autonomy to a specific person because the trust and understanding is there.  If it weren’t, or if things turned out as badly as they did for me, the Law still exists, and they ideally should be able to revoke ownership as soon as there is a reason for them to reclaim the cunt in question.  That’s a kink that is not mine, so I can only work that one out on paper, but it’s also one I don’t think is inherently wrong.  I can relate as far as what is healthy for me, and the fact that I do feel amazingly good in a situation where I can be happier for letting that other person know that I am absolutely giving myself up, but what makes it healthy and so hot for me is knowing that I am offering this gift because it will not be misused.

That right there is the crux of why my personal contradiction isn’t one at all.  People who don’t know The Law assume that they are entitled to me.  People who do understand it can see that when I’m all wet and needy and willing to just let myself go and beg them to own me and use me as they will are able to appreciate that I’m offering something rare and important that is not just sex and not just another conquest for them.  It is a part of me that is so guarded that for me to offer it means that I can let down the barriers that are usually necessary even mid-orgasm to protect me from anyone who doesn’t know The Law.  (It’s sad that I’ve even had casual sex with those people recently, but I already vented about that.  Must be more vigilant in the future.)

That is the First Law of Cunt.  If you have one, I want you to know that no matter what you do with anyone else, or what you say or what your arrangements are, it’s still the Law.  As women, I think that whatever we enjoy doing or don’t enjoy doing, this should be a given.  Men that have sex with women should understand this, too.  If a man is offered any level of ownership for any length of time it should be handled and appreciated as a gift, and not ever taken for granted.  Men not interested in ownership should still have the basic respect and understanding of the Law.

I know I’m dreaming here, with my ideal of a society that understands all of this, but it’s what I want to see.  Even if it’s impossible to achieve in the world I live in now, me shutting up and not bothering to write about it would mean that I was so resigned to the current culture that I would allow it to silence me.  As with most things, this has been knocking around in my mind long enough, and silence is not my style.  And now that I’ve written out my thoughts, I have to move on to the next two.  This is important to me, and I want it to be important to everyone I know, too.

*If you need to, replace “Cunt” with your favorite word.  I have my reasons for using it, but that is another discussion I’ve got on The List.

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One Response to “Three Laws, part I”

  1. J. Wilson Says:

    love it

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