Three Laws, Part II

And now it’s time for me to use some of the scant three hours or so I have between the end of work and the beginning of bedtime to type the word “cunt” as much as I can.  I did say I was getting back to Serious Business next, so no more complaining about lack of time.  I present to you the . . .

Second Law of Cunt:  Thou Shalt Hold Thine Own In The Highest Regard Whilst Not Denigrating Anyone Else’s.

Is it a contradiction to say this?  How can you have the highest regard for your own cunt and not see another one as lesser?  It’s not a contradiction, as much as I love getting into those, it’s actually a very simple Law that lots of people out there have trouble learning.  Let’s talk about feminism for a moment, since this ties into some of the weird ways I see women (particularly young, privileged women) interpret the term.  The point of feminism is simply that women are equal to men, and as such should live in a society that treats them as equal.  Since we don’t live in that society, feminism can be described as a movement to empower women.  Let me repeat that, feminism is a movement that empowers women.  Not just you, not just your friends, not just that one woman you saw on TV talking about her new book, but all women.  This includes women of every race, every social background, every economic bracket, every religion, every physical description including the ones who weren’t born with two X chromosomes, every age, and so on.  All women.  If something is empowering to one woman, that does not make it empowering to women as a group, and it does not make it a feminist act.  This is where the Law comes in, in my experience.  Ever since I left the tiny rural town I grew up in for Liberal Arts University X, I’ve been running into women who want to tell me all about the amazing sexy shit they do and how it’s so empowering and if I don’t get it I’m just repressed or not as awesomely feminist as they are.  I also run into plenty of women who are all about “pussy power”.  We can totally use our bodies to manipulate men and that’s empowering so it makes you all free from oppression, right?  Often, these women are the same ones.

Both these viewpoints show a complete disregard for the Second Law.  Let’s start with your amazing sexy activities and how other women just don’t GET it and are not as enlightened as you.  Maybe you find stripping empowering, or maybe you’re really proud of how many sexual partners you’ve had.  That is your business, and if it makes you love your cunt more and have a better relationship with it, great!  I strongly believe that everyone who has a cunt should indeed love it, and treat it well, and do things that contribute to general happiness and well-being surrounding their feelings toward it.  As soon as you try to sell me your program as being the best one for my cunt and my feelings about it, you have broken the Law.  Lots of women get into sex work or have more partners for flagrantly disempowering reasons.  Lots of women end up feeling worse about their own bodies after following what looks like the same path as my amazingly “enlightened” sisters.  If you are holding up your own personal sexual activities as an ideal that other women “should” follow, you are not respecting them, and you sure as hell aren’t respecting their cunts.  This is also where privilege plays a part.  If you see the things you do as so much better than the things other women do, you are almost certainly enjoying some level of privilege they aren’t.  And your activities are not empowering them.  This goes for me, too.  All that talk lately about the goings-on with Sir?  All that is personally empowering, yes, and it is part of my having learned to have the highest regard for my cunt (and myself).  But it is personal.  Another woman may have the opposite reaction, or choose a different kind of relationship, and here’s where I see my own privilege and also obey my Second Law:  I am privileged to have had the time and energy to devote to figuring out what I want, and to have met someone I want to have this particular relationship with.  And as far as the Law goes, I understand that other women have different lives and different needs and I would NEVER suggest that what is good for me would be good for them.  (Okay, there are a few things I think would be good for everyone, but that’s the Third Law.)  Sexually, (and I mean this in the broadest sense – it includes being celibate or asexual as well) the way the Second Law works is that ideally, everyone who has a cunt is able to discover what is best for them.  The regard I would like to see all women have is the highest level of love and respect that allows every one of them to find out what is best for their own personal cunt and then be able to follow those findings into a happy, healthy life.

Then there’s “pussy power”.  Women I’ve heard talk about it think they’ve gotten to that point.  They think they have the reverence for their bodies I am talking about.  But they are not following the Law into true reverence, and they denigrate the rest of us along the way.  First off, there’s the bit I mentioned above, about using your cunt to control men.  That is not true empowerment, and it’s not a sign of reverence for your cunt, either.  I know all us feminists are fighting the good fight, trying to gain equal ground, but that is not the good fight.  Let me bold this next part: True empowerment does not mean having power over anyone else.  And there, you see, is the problem.  That wonderful equal society I was talking about?  It’s one where all humans are equal.  Equality means having all the basic rights, dignity, and recognition that humans deserve.  You will never achieve that by using sexual tactics to “make” some guy buy you shit or bow to your every whim.  And if you think that’s empowering, well, maybe it is to you, but it does not work in my world.  See, I feel most equal to a man sexually when everything I bring to the table is respected, and I can respect him too.  That means if I say no to anything, or if there are things I’m not able to do I still get all the respect that my most wild and wanton acts earn me.  The very concept of control over men that is “earned” through being Good At Sex is NOT empowering to me.  It means that the only reason I’m respected or “allowed” to have power is because I’m being Good At Sex for him.  If that is where my power lies, I only “earn” it as long as I keep being the perfect vixen.  Real power and respect still exist when you have the flu, or are depressed, or busy, or arguing.  And yes, the best sex in the world can make you feel powerful, but it should also show you your partner’s power.  At the same time.

This is also why some of these types I’ve run into really break the second half of this Law.  Your cunt is amazingly awesome, and beautiful, and all that, but you do not need to insult the rest of us to make it so.  Once you have the reverence and love for your own, you don’t need to put anyone else down because you know it’s real.  I’m sure it’s no coincidence that a lot of these lawbreakers I’m talking about often like to play a game called “my cunt is better than you cunt”.  If they can sleep with your significant other, they feel like they’ve won something since they just proved that they’re better than you.  If they’ve done wilder or more exciting things than you, they feel like they have again proven that they’re better than you.  This is another area where all that love and respect isn’t quite there, because as with manipulating men, it rests in power that is only defined by power over another person, and not true inner strength.  Also, as soon as someone is all thrilled that their own cunt is “better”?  It brings us all down.  Competition among women is just another way of distracting us from the real issues we have to face, and it’s a very effective tool.  Competition in general is encouraged, since no one can win.  Someone will always be prettier, younger, thinner, or sexier.  A woman might feel like she’s “won” by being the prettiest/youngest/thinnest/sexiest, but it’s a grey victory since it’s only there until someone else knocks her off the throne, and there will always be someone else.  Again, the Law is that YOU and YOUR CUNT should be afforded all the respect and love they deserve simply because they do deserve it.

And yes, I do fall into this trap more often than I’d like.  I do feel bad when someone else demands the attention I want – specifically when it’s attention from someone I want.  You know why?  Because for most of my life other women have played “my cunt is better than your cunt” with me and I have lost every time.  That is why I recognise it, and that is why I refuse to play.  I want to enjoy all the good feeling about myself I’ve developed without someone else coming along and trying to develop her own good feelings by “proving” she’s “better” than me.  I don’t do that to other women, and I don’t want them doing it to me.  That’s why we’ll all be happier if we strive to follow the Second Law.  Love your cunt, but also know that anyone else who has one deserves the same love.




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