I am on vacation.  To be more specific, I am on the most disorganized but much-needed vacation I’ve had in ages.  As often happens, there’s been a lull in posts.  That’s partly because of school but in the last few days has been more because I don’t travel well.  As soon as the pressure to finish summer semester up was off, I had left home to visit a bunch of people in some random order I hadn’t actually worked out.  This is not a good way to start any trip anywhere, at least not for me.

I do have plenty of things to work on once I’m home, but trying to get any real writing done this week is going to be an exercise in futility.  I’m keeping up with a personal journal right now, mostly because I’ve run into things that aren’t ready for entries here but that need attention if I’m going to get anywhere productive once I’m done having social time and can buckle down and work out what exactly I’m going to talk about.

So, this is seriously an entry about nothing.  I have a mixture of anxious feelings around things I need to get done – and I’m the sort of person who wants to get things done right now, as soon as possible – and relaxed feelings that say, “fuck it, you haven’t written anything to share in weeks anyway so what’s one more week off?”  Balancing those two is hard.  Being stuck somewhere without a phone is hard, and having a list of things to discuss with people that HAVE TO WAIT is hard, and having schedules that almost, but don’t quite, match up to other peoples’ is hard.  I’m pretty well ready to plan my next vacation around a beach or something and not deal with any of this.  I’m also partly ready to get back home, even though I still have a week left.

The very beginning of this trip was a bright spot, though.  Hopefully there’ll be more.  But my first night away from home involved a lot of great conversation that needed to happen for me.  I got to stay with Kitten, who I don’t talk about much but suspect I will in the future.  Since I’ve been thrown a lot of learning experiences lately (a lot, but not more than I can handle.  That’s an important distinction.) I’ve needed someone to run my ideas by and ask “am I fucking insane?” knowing there’d be an honest answer.  I got to have a lot of that (including a talk about a post I’ve been working on but am not ready to publish yet – it’s on its way) and it did boil down to “take a break and rest up a bit.”  So I’m doing that, even though I have no idea what I’m up to for the rest of this week or where I’m staying.  It’ll work itself out, and knowing my friends, once I figure out who I’m seeing and when, it’ll turn into nonstop happy fun times.  But the confusion is a huge part of why I want one of those ridiculous country estates the nobility used to keep – so I can just invite everyone over for a week or two and put them all up at my own home with no worries about food or lodging or anything that us regular folk have to think of during time away from home.


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