Poly – Without trouble this time!

Polyamory can be messy when it doesn’t work (I have a good example of that – and have found out even more about the whole mess. I’m leaving it alone, since at this point it’s not my mess to clean up and I have other things to talk about.) but I still have this warm, happy ideal in my mind.  A lot of it’s based on past experiences that did work wonderfully and the rest is based on how I relate to people in general.  I finally got to see what that ideal might look like in real life – MY life, nonetheless!  Happy post time!

Not too long ago, I said that I’d probably be talking about The Kitten more.  She and I seem to click on some level that makes any time together, talking or having sexy fun time or anything at all, really comfortable.  We have that balance of similarities and differences that leads people to appreciate each other naturally.  Interestingly, the weekend we met we were both attracted to each other physically at first, and then once we started talking saw intelligence and strength in each other that sealed it.  On the rare occasion that this happens, it’s something you should probably go with!

This past weekend there was a club event.  I’d talked to Kitten about some unpleasantness with a person who shows up to these that had happened last time I went.  She said she’d love to come out with me and would totally have my back if anyone messed with me.  Kitten’s not a domestic feline – she’s a tigress – so she’s someone you want on your side.  Claws and all.  I was already going with Sir, but He’s been friends with her for a while and they like each other so I asked if we could bring her along and He said we could.  I only have one bed and no couch, and no way would I send any friend home after a late night of drinking, but this didn’t concern me at all.  After what happened last time, Sir and I agreed that if another woman was involved in anything with us she’d have to be someone I chose.  I felt like even if we all ended up in the same bed at the same time it wouldn’t be weird or uncomfortable at all, and no one would get jealous.  I was right!

Now, lest you think that I’m all about nonstop crazy kinky sex and am just trying to pile in lovers for my own amusement, let me remind you that quality is far more important than quantity.  I’ve heard people brag about their “numbers” and am not impressed.  A number is just a number.  What I want is my warm happy ideal.  At this point, Sir has a place in my life that no one else can take, but I have such a range of attractions and interests that it feels natural to develop friendships that have a sexual element.  Ideally, the people I choose will admire and respect each other and have friendship and even, I would hope, some level of love among them.  Even though the three of us hadn’t yet gotten together as a group, as soon as we were all at my place talking it did feel friendly and comfortable right away.  Just as I’d wanted!

The best part of the evening was later, at the club.  Kitten said that although it was very rare that she’d even consider wearing a collar, she’d gladly wear mine.  I was inwardly going, “What?  For real.  Seriously, though.  Ohmygodohmygod, awesomeness!”    Okay, my inner dialogue is not always that clever.  But there it is.  I’ve been wanting someone in my life I can explore the other side of my complex switch duality with.  Not just anyone, though.  I have very serious time constraints that have to be respected, plus I’m just really picky about who I spend my tiny amount of free time with.  So having a hot, intelligent, sexy woman who’s already a good friend AND who knows about my insane schedule (when I told her what it was this semester she actually said “You’re insane”.) AND is friends with Sir just honestly offer herself like that?  That does not happen all that often.

Not too long after that we were looking at some leather work, and there was a pretty blue collar saying “pick me!”  I know all the Serious Business Protocol folks are going to injure their spines shaking their heads in dismay at us crazy kids, but I went ahead and got it for her.  We can have a fancy party later, when I have a free weekend and the funds to feed everyone and get them drunk as the celebration rages into the night.  Right now, the important thing to me is that I know Kitten trusts me and holds me in high enough regard to offer a part of herself that is not just freely given to many people.  Just that is enough to give my more dominant side an ideal to live up to, just as Sir has given to my submissive side.  Ideals being what they are, I’m sure there will be  a lot of stumbling around on my part.  I’ve never been with two people at the same time that I have such different relationships with, so that alone is a bit odd since the headspace I get into with each is so opposite.  Still, this weekend gave me a solid example of what the three of us together can be like, so it should be interesting the next time we have a triangular date.

Everyone who’s waiting for the kinky threesome story will have to wait a bit longer.  Us ladies had several drinks and it was very late when we got home.  I ended up snuggling in between the two of them, but getting a nasty hacking cough from smoking too much so I got up and fell asleep in the living room cushion pile so I wouldn’t wake anyone up (which is too bad, since the cuddling in bed was so cozy and I’d have loved to fall asleep like that).  I’m sure there WILL be kinky threesome stories in the future, but none of us are in our twenties so none of us can drink like we are.  Sleeping has to happen too!  But that’s one thing about being older (and hopefully wiser!) – I didn’t come away from the weekend with a sense of regret over not having all my dirty fantasies fulfilled RIGHT NOW.  Sir and I had time to work on some of the problems we’ve run into, and Kitten and I made a major move toward a more serious relationship.  That means more to me than any amount of sex with people I don’t really care about ever could.  Just knowing that He’s off on His own vacation soon and not leaving behind any doubts or unfinished business with me, and she’s going to see me again in a little under two weeks and will have my collar on then is enough to keep me happy and satisfied with the state of things.

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